Helping parents cope in lockdown with online school
Helping parents cope with the demands of online school during lockdown
The world is currently experiencing a worldwide pandemic and the threat of COVID-19 has resulted in multiple lockdowns to stop the spread of the virus. With every lockdown comes changes to restrictions, and the return to online schooling for primary and secondary school children. This means parents are being forced to take on the role of school teacher, in addition to everyday parenting responsibilities while working from home.
So how do parents cope with the demands of online school during lockdown?
You are already working from home full time, so how do you fit in the role of parent and teacher at the same time? The simple answer is you cant. You cannot be everything to everyone at all times. You are but one person, so do the best that you can with what you have got.
Here are 10 ways to cope with those increased demands:
- Introduce a routine
Introducing a routine and having structure in the day makes the day more predictable. With predictability comes safety, and this means children are more likely to engage in learning. If your child is able to complete their daily work tasks at a time of their choosing, and require your help, consider starting the school day earlier or later, at a time you can provide the help they need. - Consider flexible working hours
Having a discussion with your boss about the option of flexible working hours during lockdown periods may be a viable option. This means you will be able to complete your set working hours on a given day, just at different times which may afford you more availability to work around the needs of your children and attend to their schooling needs. - Have dedicated work areas
With many people in the home all on telehealth calls or google meets at the same time, having dedicated working areas for each member of the family, well stocked with all of the resources that are needed for their day, will help with productivity and minimise disruptions. - Employ time-outs
By time-out, we mean time-outs or down time for the grown-ups. Set aside a small amount of time, even 15 minutes each day, to have uninterrupted time for yourself. Explain to your children the importance of having time for yourself and ask not to be interrupted. You may need to schedule an activity for younger children to complete, play a movie, or engage them in a little screen time. You could also consider having a small amount of the day where the whole family takes time out and engages in the practice of mindfulness or relaxation strategies. - Utilise screen time
Professionals are always telling everyone to minimize screen time, and there are good reasons for this. However, we are in unprecedented times, so affording your children a little more screen time may be what is needed for the wellbeing and mental health of the family. - Consider bringing in reinforcements
As we mentioned earlier, you cannot be everything for everyone, all of the time. So, ask for help. Can you enlist the help of grandparents or a friend to entertain your child for a short period while you get some work done? Can you delegate and have these people spend some time helping your child to complete some of their daily schoolwork? Can you arrange a study group for students to complete work together? If restrictions do not allow physical contact or house visits, this may be via a phone call or video. - Lower your expectations
This one is important. You must lower your expectations because you are spread thinly. Now is not the time to be an overachiever. Sometimes completing a task to the expected standard is more than enough. A little below the expected standard might even have to be enough right now and that is ok too. The same applies to children and their schooling. If a child is struggling with math and you cannot get them to engage, get them to complete a fun task like cooking or counting M&M’s and apply the mathematical concepts in a different way. If your Prep child will not read their reader or complete literacy tasks, read a comic together or watch a movie. Discuss the plot and what you think might happen next and be creative. - Acknowledge big feelings
Open and honest communication is important. If your child is crying and tells you that they are finding online school tough, validate their feelings and tell them it is ok. Acknowledge that it is hard and reassure them that you will find a way to work through this together. If you as a parent are having a hard time, it is ok to share this with your children. Model that it is ok to have big feelings, and discuss how to manage these big feelings in healthy ways. - Foster the idea of good enough parenting
Be sensitive, warm, empathic, and emotionally available to your children. Remove any expectations to be a perfect parent, and remove any expectation placed on your children to be perfect. This sits well with our company motto at Progressive Psychology to “strive for progress, not perfection”. Respect your children, understand who they are, and concern yourself with their current experience of the world rather than focusing solely on their long-term future.
- Remain positive
Minimising media exposure and remaining positive are likely to assist with coping in these difficult times. Having open discussions with family about the positives and achievements in their day over a shared meal can be beneficial, as you shift the focus away from the negative. In addition, the use of positive affirmations to remind ourselves that we are doing the best that we can in challenging circumstances can be good for fostering a sense of self-efficacy and resilience.
We understand these are difficult times. If you are not coping or think you would benefit from further support, please seek professional help. A good first point of call is your GP or making an appointment with a psychologist.
Our experienced team of psychologists would be more than happy help. Please contact our friendly reception team on 0477 798 932 to book your appointment today.
Rebecca Underwood is the Director and Principal Psychologist at Progressive Psychology.