Supporting a loved one struggling with mental illness
Learning that a loved one has either been diagnosed with a mental illness or is currently struggling can be quite an emotional experience. Dependent on your relationship with that individual, the impact this news can have on yourself is something to be mindful of. Be aware of your own responses to their experience and check in with yourself and what you need.
You may feel as though you hold a lot of responsibility in terms of ensuring the loved one seeks support, that they are okay, that they are doing things to better themselves. Love is a wonderful thing; however, boundaries are ever so important to implement during this time. Boundaries ensure that you are not going above and beyond, and consequently having a detrimental effect on your own mental health.
It is easy to want to take charge, to protect them from any hurt. However, this is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to love them no matter what and be present for them in any way they need.
Following are some ways in which you can support your loved one during difficult times:
- Educating yourself on the diagnosis and/or their symptoms.
This is a great way to understand what your loved one is struggling with, and how you can support them - Being aware of their warning signs.
Warning signs may be different for each individual, but if your loved one has expressed that when they start to distance themselves from yourself and others, that it is a clear indication they may be struggling and need some extra support, then remain vigilant for these signs. - Be open and ask them what they need.
By asking them what they need, puts the onus on your loved one to share with you what they need to feel better. Following are some examples of how to engage in that conversation:
- What do you need at the moment?
- Is there anything I can do for you?
- What is something that will make you feel better right now? - Respect your loved ones wishes.
It can be very easy to want to drag your loved one out of the house, or constantly check up on them – which logically is caring and kind, however if a loved one expresses that what they need is to just have a day watching Netflix on the couch while crying and eating chocolate ice-cream, then that is what they need. It may have been hard for them to admit that in the first place, so a great response would be ‘It sounds like that is what you need, I will touch base with you in an hour and see how you are doing.’ - Ensure you are non-judgemental and patient with them.
Despite having knowledge of their illness it is important to never assume things. Every persons experience with an illness is different. Be kind and patient with your loved one, you will find they will be more likely to share their thoughts and feelings with someone who is understanding.
Remember they are not their mental illness.
It can be challenging to differentiate between the symptoms of the mental illness and your loved one’s personality – especially when they used to present very differently.Have realistic expectations.
Be mindful that someone who is experiencing symptoms of a mental illness may not be able to do some of the activities they used to. Having expectations that someone with social anxiety may want to come to a footy game, may be unrealistic and result in feelings of disappointment.
If you require extra support navigating this time in your life or are needing assistance to support a loved one through a tough time, please contact Progressive Psychology on 0477 798 932. We have psychologists on our team who are more than willing help!
Bianca is a Psychologist at Progressive Psychology